Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Secrets

In my book, there are two kinds of secrets. One is the never-to-be-told secret, the kind that you bury in the recesses of your heart and never ever fish out (a close married friend tells you she got up close and personal with someone other than her husband and is deeply regretting it). That goes into the first category, not even to be shared with your significant other. In fact you should almost forget you ever heard any such thing unless the friend brings it up. But the second variety is the more, interesting, the more fun secret. Primarily because this secret is to ultimately be shared -- with maybe one person, a small group, or the world at large -- and the thrill of waiting to share it is quite exciting. It may be the decision to get married or the news that you've found someone special, or a new job or any such thing. So you're driving someone somewhere and suddenly you break into this smile, and she asks you, 'hey what's with you?' and all you can do is smile some more, as you imagine the shock, surprise, horror, awe with which she will react. In fact, you can walk around in this temporary self-induced state of euphoria for many days; it's like walking on air. Every time you pass someone, say at the office you're soon going to quit, you think, 'and what will he say', and you preempt their reactions and their words of wisdom. And it's a thrill. Like foreplay. Sometimes even more exciting than the real thing. Because many a times the reactions and the responses do not live up to your expectations and it leaves you feeling quite like a deflated balloon. But the phase prior to the act of telling, that's the fun part. So the next time you're pregnant with some news and you're dying to shout it out from the rooftops, hold your horses and savour those moments of famous last words, knowing smiles and peals of secret laughter in your heart.

2 Comments:

Blogger eM said...

Okay, i'll bite. What's this big secret?
OMG.... YOU'RE PREGNANT, aren't you?

09 November, 2004  
Blogger writer-in-egg-style said...

Hmmm... pick first category secret. More integrity, paradoxically.

02 December, 2004  

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