Friday, November 25, 2005

Pillow Talk

Does your pillow talk to you? I know this sounds crazy but I have this relationship with my pillow that's unique. And I've been wanting to write this blog for a few days but after the night I've had yesterday I decided to write this now.
I just can't sleep right without my pillow. Now I have no idea when I adopted this particular pillow but when I got married and moved to another town, I didn't sleep well for a while and somehow I connected this to not having my own pillow. SO the next time I went home I took it with me. Since then the pillow has travelled with me from Delhi to Chandigarh, then back to Delhi and now to Bombay (it's been some six years at least). I keep thinking of having a smaller size copy made, with the same texture and stuffing but I never do it. I wish I had. Last night my pillow was fat and stuffy and I hate those. Mine is thin and hard and as good as not having one. Yet it's there, that's the beauty. Not in your face (pardon the pathetic innuendo) but just close enough to make you feel secure. So you can dream into it, cry into it and just hug it and sleep. It has a nice striped cloth cover and is now even torn in places, but I love it.
Sometimes I wonder what it is. Habit I know. But does it talk to me? Does it absorb some thoughts and ideas and dreams and then play them back to me on another day? Maybe an unfinished dream? Which is why sometimes a dream starts on one day and ends on another? And usually I dream when I sleep at home, on that pillow. The only time I'm able to avoid missing my pillow is when I'm really tired and sleepy and I just lie on the bed and crash.
But really I wonder why it is that my pillow has this hold over me which is what leads me to believe that there's more to my pillow than meet the eye!! It talks to me at night, or maybe I talk to it. And it just stores the info for later use. I've cried into it several times. Because I'm the kind of person who would be crying behind closed doors (in the loo or into my pillow at night, when I do, and that's not too often, thankfully). Is that what makes it special? That's it's only my shoulder to cry on and no one else's? Am I making any sense?

PS: Saw an Argentinian film Beunos Aires 100 kilometres. Average fare.

16 Comments:

Blogger writer-in-egg-style said...

Crazy? Depends on how you take it, I guess, and with how much empathy. No puff can come in the way of such a strong metaphysical connexion, from what you say... though whispers of moistened pillow admissions should never be subjected to anything so gruff as "analysis" or even "comment". So perhaps it's advisable to hold one's peace (in a manner of speaking).

However, do forgive this egghead contribution: Chinese scientists studying the neurobuzz of dopamine have hit upon the phenomenon of Taq1A polymorphism. While no fluff (or intermediary) is really necessary for the real connexion to hold good, perhaps it helps that a pillow can take so many forms... ha ha

I know, I know... such bland information does not quite address the tears/moistness issue... am no expert, but maybe you could do with some breathing exercises (ala meditation, sustained format with brief stretches).

26 November, 2005  
Blogger Jabberwock said...

"Average fare". Spoken like a true movie critic. BTW, give my regards to Nikhat K if you bump into (or should that be bounce off?) her.

27 November, 2005  
Anonymous gagbag said...

Jughead was groggy at pop tate's cafe. What happened? Archie, Bets Ronnie etc asked. I dreamt of eating a big marshmallow, he said. Wow, they said, so what happened? When I woke up my pillow was gone.

28 November, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a wonderful blog, writer. When something is very well written, like an intense film, people's immediate responses are always a little bit "affected" because they are still recovering themselves. This is true of the world's best writing, and remains the case in this interactivity age of the internet. That is how, methinks and metrusts, a blog which talks of crying attracts vague humour. Do take it as a compliment, writer, or as attempts to cheer you. This is a wonderful blog.

28 November, 2005  
Blogger Yours Truly...Conman said...

How can a pillow talk to you?

28 November, 2005  
Blogger Jabberwock said...

Well said, Conman! Pillows can't talk. Everyone knows this. But oh, my security blanket can hum a few tunes.

(take it this is the 'vague humour' Anonymous was talking about...)

29 November, 2005  
Blogger GSB said...

It's not meant to be literal Conman. People talk to their plants also, you know, but hey by your logic, how can someone talk to a plant?

30 November, 2005  
Blogger GSB said...

J: I did actually. She was sitting three seats away from me at the opening and I had no clue who she was.

30 November, 2005  
Blogger Jabberwock said...

How can someone talk to a plant?

30 November, 2005  
Blogger writer-in-egg-style said...

An artist often expends enormous effort on the canvas...

... just gazing, musing, repositioning, headruffling, inhaling, exhaling, wristringing, talking, tracking, balancing, contouring, envisioning, unbalancing...

... before making as much as a first dab.

30 November, 2005  
Blogger writer-in-egg-style said...

In other words: here's to well conceived blogs !!

30 November, 2005  
Blogger Jabberwock said...

I tried engaging a young cactus in conversation once, but it got all prickly and told me to go away.

01 December, 2005  
Anonymous Market watcher said...

An Indian researcher at the Univ of Syracuse is studying plants to see to what extent they have what may be called "feelings" in human terminology. David Honigmann may find this useful.

01 December, 2005  
Anonymous animation artist said...

In Da Vinci Code, the sun has feelings. so what? in our work, it is how you conceptualise the character for screen depiction

01 December, 2005  
Blogger GSB said...

thank you market watcher, thank you animation artist. someone at least sees my point.

05 December, 2005  
Blogger writer-in-egg-style said...

Marketing is Empathy

06 December, 2005  

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